A cheat guide to finding your perfect gift.
in life are free...
in life aren't things...
come in small packages...
come to those who wait...
come in threes...
Family, friends, (fur)babies. For many of us, we'd say those are our best things. They bring us love and laughter. They keep us warm and safe. They remind us that we're all connected in this hamster wheel of life. They build us up and keep us humble.
In the last couple of years, we haven't had many occasions to connect in real life. In a way, having those occasions to go to - birthday parties, anniversary dinners, farewells - kept us on our toes. We had to plan. We had to make an effort. So what have we done to stay connected while apart? Some of us picked up the phone and made calls. Some of us scrolled obsessively on social media. Some of us Group Watched the latest blockbusters. And sometimes, "just to stay sane" as a friend of ours said, we sent out care packages. We sent a lot of care packages!
Although we're avid gift givers (we built a business around it!), we know that gifting can just seem like a crutch, a gesture, a lazy way to show someone you care. But for many of us, it's our Love Language. "Receiving Gifts" is less about the material gift and more about the love that goes into the gifting process. And where they receive, they'll show love that way, too. Interestingly, it has the lowest attribution amongst the 5 love languages, which may help explain why many people think of gifting as an obligatory, painful and boring process. If you're in that bucket, or you're just struggling to find something for a special someone, this guide is for you!
How do you start?
When getting a gift, it's all about the why. Is this for a big birthday or a Secret Santa or a "feel better"? The why will determine everything else - budget, timing, size. For example, you probably wouldn't be budgeting as much or planning as long for a Secret Santa gift as for your partner's 40th birthday. Once you've figured out the why, your budget, how long you have and how well you can hide it, then it's time to think about the feel of the gift. Here's a list of the main categories of gift feel in increasing strength of emotion:
Fun or flirty - cute and enjoyable
For the soul - sensitive and nurturing
Made with love - handmade and bespoke
The BIG gesture - deeply invested
The following sections give suggestions on gifts for the first 3 categories by budget, timing and size where relevant, and when (anytime or planned) and where you can find them. The BIG gesture isn't covered as that's personal to your relationship.
Fun or flirty
Perfect for more casual occasions like a Secret Santa, 8 week (or 8 year) anniversary, or "just because". These gifts may not be widely practical but there's a lot of opportunity to make them personal. Just make sure the person receiving the gift is in on the gag!
Budget: any. Timing: any.
When and where | Suggestions from small to large storage |
|---|---|
Anytime These gifts can usually be found at your nearest dollar store or newsagent | Scratch and win lottery ticket Funny mug/shot glass Randomest DVD you can find like Magic Mike Learn each day calendar After dinner table game: charades, trivia Stuffed toy: teddy bear |
Planned These can be found in most shopping malls or ordered from specialty stores and online marketplaces | Casino chip Underwear/lingerie Customised mug/sweater In-shower speaker Cartoon book: Texts from Dog/Cat Cocktail making book Claw game/carnival toy Building blocks: Nanoblock, Lego Inflatable pool/beach toy: flamingo, ball Outdoor game set: boules, cricket Garden statue: gnome, corrugated sheep Giant stuffed toy: Snorlax |
For the soul
These gifts invoke our senses and feed our souls. Whatever the why - birthdays, Mother's and Father's Days, weddings, illnesses, funerals - these gifts or a combination of these gifts will make anyone feel nourished and cared for inside and out even if you're not in the room with them.
Timing: any. Size: any.
When and where | Suggestions from small to large budgets |
|---|---|
Anytime These gifts can usually be ordered from business websites and sent directly to inboxes | Food voucher: UberEats, restaurant Flower bouquet Hamper: wine and snacks, edible bouquet Beauty voucher: nails, massage, spa day Tickets: theatre, concert, magician, comedian Weekend trip: hotel with event tickets |
Planned These can be found in most shopping malls, grocers, art galleries and specialty stores | Snacks: shortbread, nuts, Tim Tams, Lindt balls, cheese, doughnuts, mochi Hand poured scented soap Reusable straw and cutlery set Tea and tea wares Bed socks/woolen gloves Hobby book/supplies Travel toiletry set Triple scented candle Scarf: art print, knitted, wool, cashmere, silk Cocktail making set PJs/bathrobe/Oodie Scents: eau de toilette/parfum, cologne Memorabilia: crystal figurines, collector cards |
Made with love
Not everyone is artistic or crafty but for those with a Quality Time love language, making something with you is even more important than having something made by you. These gifts are for your biggest supporters, the big birthdays and big thank yous.
Budget: any. Size: any.
When and where | Suggestions from short to long timings |
|---|---|
Anytime These gifts can usually be ordered from learning or experience websites and sent directly to inboxes | One-off class: paint and sip, ceramics, silver jewelry, acting, singing, macramé, felting, cooking, cupcake decorating Learning subscription: Masterclass, college |
Planned Supplies can be found in craft stores and local markets. Specialist equipment may be required. | Bake: cookies, brownies, cupcakes Plant and vase: succulent, bonsai, terrarium Write: poem, short story, IOUs* Craft: greeting card, bookmark, flip book Macramé plant holder/hanger Crochet: toy, scarf, jewelry Scarf/tie/handkerchief: shibori, embroidery Jewelry: silver, leather, beaded Artwork: painting, drawing, resin, alcohol ink Video montage |
*IOUs are a fun and personal way to connect with a loved one. Example IOUs: foot rub, dishes, laundry, homecooked meal, date night, alone time, Sunday night football, your choice.
Gifts can also be combined across categories to create a care package.
Care packages should be made up of: smell (soap/scent) + taste (biscuit/chocolate/tea) + feel (lotion/mug/scarf) + see (book/artwork)
This is a trick we use a lot - making use of the things we've picked up throughout the year - see our Have you been A Little 8? post. If you are planning on creating a care package, make sure it at least includes the memory-invoking sense of smell to make a lasting impression.
We hope these suggestions help you find the perfect gift! And remember, support your local small business :oD
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